inundation.

lately there has been a bit of a problem...
it is monsoon which means it rains, constantly. I understand that...and if you catch me on a good day, I don't even mind it; it is actually quite amusing to watch the seasonal depression take over the school..

this week, however, i have observed a few things that prove to be problematic. and would like them to be fixed or removed as soon as possible to make my happy shiny monsoon outlook remain.

• While torrential downpours may be great subjects for my students to write haikus about, I really do not appreciate waking up to deafening beating above my head at all hours. Last night, I woke up in a pool of my own sweat, absolutely positive that Thor himself was in my room, rampaging with his hammer against the walls while a herd of small elves pranced around him. After talking myself down and remembering that it was only rain, I sat in bed for two straight hours absolutely convinced that one of two things was going to happen: 1. the roof was going to cave in and I would drown while lying in bed or 2. a land slide was going to force the house directly above us to slide straight into my bedroom

• I enjoy water parks. I do NOT enjoy walking to school in a water park. I especially do NOT like walking to school in a water park while wearing normal, slightly moldy clothes and having to attach my backpack to my stomach like a pregnant woman.

the worst water park I have ever been to..

• I never knew my sense of smell was so acute, but today alone I puked in my mouth four times on account of atrocious smells. The first occurred when I opened the door to the non ventilated fitness room to see about 20 high school boys profusely sweating with a fellow teacher in the middle who immediately smiles and asks, 'do you think we should open a window?" dear god! yes i think you should open the window. It smells like a molding sour pumpkin melting in acid. After showering and feeling good about my own smell, I ventured into the school building for morning assembly. Until you walk into an enclosed assembly hall of 500 7-12 graders all of whom are literally dripping wet and sweating on account of living inside of a humid cloud and hiking up to school, you do not know even close to the meaning of foul. And I am not even going to try to describe the putrid smell of a classroom full of seventh graders who have been sitting in their own damp for the past three hours and are finally beginning to dry. It is by far the WORST.

Directly in front of the high school main entrance.....

• My contacts have been fuzzy for the past couple of days. I noticed this, paid it its due attention, soaking them extra long and scrubbing them extra hard..and because I do not have the best contact hygiene and may or may not go months before changing my 'two week max' contacts, I also tried putting a new pair in. Each day my eyesight became progressively worse until finally I could not take it anymore. In the middle of class I suavely removed my right contact, immediately knocking over a stack of papers and tripping over the projector cord. I recovered well and attempted to teach, only able to see out of one eye. For quite a few reasons, this did not go so well. I am not sure how many of you have tried wearing only one contact, but it is not easy or fun. Much of the day was spent with my right eye shut, my students convinced that I was trying to be a pirate and the worst headache in the world. I finally succumbed to the pressure and removed my other contact, spending the rest of the day blind. Luckily because it is monsoon, I had my large umbrella with which also doubles perfectly as a seeing eye stick. upon later examination, it was found that a film of fungus had grown on my contacts....I now have to wear glasses every day.

• I also would appreciate if I didn't have to waste 5 minutes demolding shoes and clothes in the mornings, if my peanut butter didn't have green chunks, if I could walk on concrete without having to flex every muscle in my butt and legs to try to prevent myself from flailing onto the ground in front of many people, if my passport was not completely covered in a fuzzy substance, if all my belongings did not have to be kept in zip lock bags, and if I could make it through one day without having to use my umbrella.
  

come on monsoon.. learn to cooperate.....
all photos are from ONE walk to school. photo credits: nan.

jai hind.

(jai hind-victory to thee)
i may or may not have risen from the dead this past week...
after being completely annihilated by my giardia medication and spending five days in a blur of only wicked hallucinations and coma like sleep, I managed to pull myself together just well enough to make it up to school for the independence day celebration on monday. last year (august 15) i featured a whole blog post about the history behind the day, please reference it for specifics on the festivity.
for a brief and very nonspecific overview, here is what the party invite would look like:
when: august 15 (1947)
who: EVERYBODY and their mothers...
what: celebrating india's freedom from british rule
where: in every single alleyway, slum, school and train
why: because well shit, didn't india suffer enough?

the festivities included loads of delicious indian food, vivid colors, traditional dress, great sufi music, and apart from my inability to hold conversations on account of the meds, it all went surprisingly well.
i think that for this one, the pictures will be able to do most of the talking...

holy dosa

bhutan

tune in.

sometimes i truly believe that my life is bizarre enough to have its own reality tv show.. this past week is a prime example that could be divided into three outlandishly amusing episodes.

EPISODE ONE: match mania.
i have an addictive personality. i know this. subconciously, i think this is why i often steer away from any recreational activities that might be even remotely addicting (i had a long bout with the sims during college)...despite all my attempts at avoidance, i have fallen victim to the luring of settlers of catan, the best board game ever. sometimes, well often times actually, i find myself in the middle of a conversation, thinking about strategy for settlers. now, i am not the only one with an obsession, emerald might have me beat out considering that she has actually looked settlers strategy up online and mapped out how she will beat me (it has yet to happen). many a night has passed with us drinking and playing, ending up absolutely pissed at whoever wins. we often take breaks from playing to lure monkeys with food and then shoot them with our wrist rocket. currently my most prized possession.
wanting to get away for the weekend, we ventured down to rishikesh last weekend with settlers in bag. immediately upon arrival we set up the board. talk about geeked out. we were able to fight the beckoning call of the board and get out into the city as well, enjoying the banks of the ganga, company of saddhus, johny ok- the best dessert in the world, buying loads of hippie clothes to eventually sell online (more about my new business venture later), reading books and sitting in the sunshine for 30 minutes, the highlight of monsoon thus far.

EPISODE TWO: the elephant in the room.
my stomach has not been 100% since oh, about last october and i have become an extreme trooper at trucking through the pain. so when i started having severe aches on monday, i ignored it and went on with my life. wednesday i decided that maybe i should get it checked out, just in case, because it was beginning to get in the way of my teaching- considering everytime i had a shooting pain i would have to sit down and breathe through the pain for a good five minutes (many of my students now think i am on a weird parinama meditation kick). SO, come lunch break, i went into the health center to see if they had any advice.

ten minutes later i leave the health center with a jar in hand, happy that this time, i can be in charge of my own stool sample and not have to burden my housemates with the task of lugging it up the mountain. i return to the health center to see mrs. chopel, a very sweet traditional tibetan lady who instantly lights up and says "oooooooooh good job! sooooo fast!" head down, i pass her my brown bag which resembles the jar in every way. as i am filling out my form i take a look around the diminutive room and can't help but laugh. to my right, i see one of my students reading his english book. he sees this moment as an opportunity to get some additional english support and begins to ask me questions about the reading. across from me is one of my advisees who wants to know what we will be doing this friday for advisor night. and to the left of me sits my stool sample in all its glory....

two hours later, i cannot take the pain and leave nan in charge of the task of picking up my medicine. after stumbling down the hill and basically fainting into my bed i hear our ayah (maid), saroj arrive. in typical saroj fashion, she enters my room with a whiny "m'aaaaaam" and asks how i am feeling. she then tells me that her daughter has been ill lately as well, but the doctors just figured out why. too absorbed in my own sickness to really want to have a conversation about someone else's sickness, i ask why. "oooo the doctoors say that she have a wooorm on her brain" WHAT. i swear to god i saw that on a house episode. after a bit more of the whiny voice i find some peace and quiet and start freaking out that maybe i have a wormbrain as well as whatever stomach virus i have this time.

somehow i am able to pass out and wake up to nan throwing giardia medicine in my face. giardia. again. second time in four months. no big deal. grateful to have a 'cure' nan volunteers to make us dinner and i pop a pill and return to my hallucinatory dreams.

so you know, this is what's inside me.

EPISODE FOUR: amphibian conquest
after waking up and reassuring myself, that no, i did not loose all my eyelashes in a freak mountain lion attack, i basked in the magnificence of nan's dinner and my returning appetite. for about an hour, nan and i looked like real, functioning adults.; eating a nutritionally balanced meal that involved minimal cheese and sitting semi near the table. because lesson planning was the last thing on my mind, i peer pressured nan into letting us illegally stream a few episodes of weeds (this is about the time we start to loose 'adult' points). as we watch, nan is cutting capsicum (green pepper) for a dinner she is hosting tomorrow and somehow she manages to get some of it in her eye. pausing for a break, we go to take care of the situation to find a massive unattractive black toad in our kitchen.

now, this toad is not new to our home. the first meeting came when nan returned from climbing bandarpoonch. see the evidence below.

until a few days ago, i had doubts that this toad existed, but the other morning we were late leaving our house because we had to chase the toad out of our house and into a small crack in the wall, hoping that the toad would like this new crack, and make a home inside of it. apparently our brilliant plan failed, seeing as the toad managed to get into our kitchen.
toads in america are fine. sometimes they aren't even that bad looking. this toad was disgusting and probably carried numerous diseases including brainworm. no way was either of us going to touch it. after a lot of shrieking and trying to trap the toad in a watering can, he retreated to the deep dark depths of our cabinet. using a spoon, i tried to scoop him out. all the exertion was too much for my giardia and it began to rebel and freak out. i no longer could help in the hunt. after a lot of effort and hard work, we were able to make it happen and let the toad go free after a long lecture about why he cannot live in our house. hopefully it was a lesson learned.

note the creepers in the back

showing off to the neighbors

next time on ______(i dont actually know what i would call my show): indian independence day gone wild and how seventh grader's adhd can rub off on their teachers. stay tuned.....

civilized existence.

After a month of easy summer living in Wisconsin, I have returned to the damp, monsoon-ridden hills of India for the start of another school year. It was great to be back home: the break from India’s commotion was much needed and it was absolutely splendid to spend time catching up with friends and family. Despite the extreme culture shock and week -long jet lag, I was able to squeeze quite a bit into my ‘vacation’, working loads, venturing out on the river, picking strawberries, relaxing in the sun, reading fiction, eating beef, and of course, frequenting all my favorite bars. I also managed to squeeze in a trip to las vegas with dad, mom and ali and I have returned feeling refreshed, well rested, and ready to hit India in a full on sprint.

the hotel.

The trip back to mussoorie began with an overnight taxi ride that involved a driver who most likely did not have a license, fording numerous rivers in an attempt to take ‘shortcuts’, a lot of drunk pilgrims all over the streets, and .5 hours of sleep. Thinking we were quite brilliant, nan and I dehydrated ourselves before the ride, assuming we would save time not stopping for bathroom breaks. By the time we finally got home I was thirstier than I have ever been. Running into the kitchen almost desperate enough to drink from the tap regardless or not if it gave me typhoid, I discover that the water filter is not working. At all. And none of the neighbors are home… This proves to be slightly problematic. Luckily, nan is a genius and we discovered that hot tea, drunk in large amounts, can serve as a means of hydration. And do not fear, the water filter has since been restored to its glory.

Tomorrow is the first day of school and because I know the next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind of disarray, I have been organizing every part of my life possible. Lauren is not returning this year, which is a huge adjustment in itself, but also means that we have extra space in our house. Therefore nan and I have been demonstrating extreme teamwork and took on the project of reorganizing and deep cleaning our entire house these past few days. One of the things I was asked about the most while home was the living situation. No, I do not live in a hut. Yes, I do have running water; I even have a shower! no, I do not have to operate by headlamp at night. Yes, I do have bedsheets and dishes; in fact, I quite like my home, even more so now that it isn’t moldy. To settle the qualms that many people have, I am putting a few pictures of my house up to serve as evidence as to how civilized I actually live...

our neighbor rebecca and nan (sometimes our house serves as woodstock's art department headquarters)

the clean half of my room.

I am hoping to be back in the habit of weekly blog updates, just try not to hold me too closely to it. ..while my summer ends tonight, many of you still have a month or more to go, please enjoy it and soak up some sunshine for me, I will do the same for you…just with rain.. and mold....