sometimes i truly believe that my life is bizarre enough to have its own reality tv show.. this past week is a prime example that could be divided into three outlandishly amusing episodes.
EPISODE ONE: match mania.
i have an addictive personality. i know this. subconciously, i think this is why i often steer away from any recreational activities that might be even remotely addicting (i had a long bout with the sims during college)...despite all my attempts at avoidance, i have fallen victim to the luring of settlers of catan, the best board game ever. sometimes, well often times actually, i find myself in the middle of a conversation, thinking about strategy for settlers. now, i am not the only one with an obsession, emerald might have me beat out considering that she has actually looked settlers strategy up online and mapped out how she will beat me (it has yet to happen). many a night has passed with us drinking and playing, ending up absolutely pissed at whoever wins. we often take breaks from playing to lure monkeys with food and then shoot them with our wrist rocket. currently my most prized possession.
wanting to get away for the weekend, we ventured down to rishikesh last weekend with settlers in bag. immediately upon arrival we set up the board. talk about geeked out. we were able to fight the beckoning call of the board and get out into the city as well, enjoying the banks of the ganga, company of saddhus, johny ok- the best dessert in the world, buying loads of hippie clothes to eventually sell online (more about my new business venture later), reading books and sitting in the sunshine for 30 minutes, the highlight of monsoon thus far.
my stomach has not been 100% since oh, about last october and i have become an extreme trooper at trucking through the pain. so when i started having severe aches on monday, i ignored it and went on with my life. wednesday i decided that maybe i should get it checked out, just in case, because it was beginning to get in the way of my teaching- considering everytime i had a shooting pain i would have to sit down and breathe through the pain for a good five minutes (many of my students now think i am on a weird parinama meditation kick). SO, come lunch break, i went into the health center to see if they had any advice.
ten minutes later i leave the health center with a jar in hand, happy that this time, i can be in charge of my own stool sample and not have to burden my housemates with the task of lugging it up the mountain. i return to the health center to see mrs. chopel, a very sweet traditional tibetan lady who instantly lights up and says "oooooooooh good job! sooooo fast!" head down, i pass her my brown bag which resembles the jar in every way. as i am filling out my form i take a look around the diminutive room and can't help but laugh. to my right, i see one of my students reading his english book. he sees this moment as an opportunity to get some additional english support and begins to ask me questions about the reading. across from me is one of my advisees who wants to know what we will be doing this friday for advisor night. and to the left of me sits my stool sample in all its glory....
two hours later, i cannot take the pain and leave nan in charge of the task of picking up my medicine. after stumbling down the hill and basically fainting into my bed i hear our ayah (maid), saroj arrive. in typical saroj fashion, she enters my room with a whiny "m'aaaaaam" and asks how i am feeling. she then tells me that her daughter has been ill lately as well, but the doctors just figured out why. too absorbed in my own sickness to really want to have a conversation about someone else's sickness, i ask why. "oooo the doctoors say that she have a wooorm on her brain" WHAT. i swear to god i saw that on a house episode. after a bit more of the whiny voice i find some peace and quiet and start freaking out that maybe i have a wormbrain as well as whatever stomach virus i have this time.
somehow i am able to pass out and wake up to nan throwing giardia medicine in my face. giardia. again. second time in four months. no big deal. grateful to have a 'cure' nan volunteers to make us dinner and i pop a pill and return to my hallucinatory dreams.
so you know, this is what's inside me.
after waking up and reassuring myself, that no, i did not loose all my eyelashes in a freak mountain lion attack, i basked in the magnificence of nan's dinner and my returning appetite. for about an hour, nan and i looked like real, functioning adults.; eating a nutritionally balanced meal that involved minimal cheese and sitting semi near the table. because lesson planning was the last thing on my mind, i peer pressured nan into letting us illegally stream a few episodes of weeds (this is about the time we start to loose 'adult' points). as we watch, nan is cutting capsicum (green pepper) for a dinner she is hosting tomorrow and somehow she manages to get some of it in her eye. pausing for a break, we go to take care of the situation to find a massive unattractive black toad in our kitchen.
now, this toad is not new to our home. the first meeting came when nan returned from climbing bandarpoonch. see the evidence below.
until a few days ago, i had doubts that this toad existed, but the other morning we were late leaving our house because we had to chase the toad out of our house and into a small crack in the wall, hoping that the toad would like this new crack, and make a home inside of it. apparently our brilliant plan failed, seeing as the toad managed to get into our kitchen.
toads in america are fine. sometimes they aren't even that bad looking. this toad was disgusting and probably carried numerous diseases including brainworm. no way was either of us going to touch it. after a lot of shrieking and trying to trap the toad in a watering can, he retreated to the deep dark depths of our cabinet. using a spoon, i tried to scoop him out. all the exertion was too much for my giardia and it began to rebel and freak out. i no longer could help in the hunt. after a lot of effort and hard work, we were able to make it happen and let the toad go free after a long lecture about why he cannot live in our house. hopefully it was a lesson learned.
note the creepers in the back
showing off to the neighbors
next time on ______(i dont actually know what i would call my show): indian independence day gone wild and how seventh grader's adhd can rub off on their teachers. stay tuned.....
I'm so glad you're back up and blogging! I'm going to look forward to every post :)
ReplyDelete